Online Obituary Tribute

I feel able to tell you all what happened now, In fact to see it written down may make me able to see some sense of it all.

In the early hours of Saturday morning about 1am I was feeling quite bloated and heavy, I went to the bathroom and strained a little at that point I felt something come down inside my cervix, the next thing i knew i was in the Gilead hospital in Bielefeld, They scanned me and it showed that baby Angelika was fine but my cervix had opened fully, at this point the sac was in tact. I was given drip after drip of antibiotics to fight an infection that they felt had caused the opening of the cervix. All through this time I had no pain just a bit of a fever.
On the sunday they took me to theatre and did a cervical stitch, they told me that there was a very slim chance that this would work as any infection might have already reached the womb. I woke at 03:35 Monday morning feeling very wet , my waters had broken.

I was rushed to a room where they tried to remove the stitch as any contractions would have made my cervix rupture which could have been fatal. After 3 hours they finally cut it out , the pain was unbearable and I was pumped full of morphine, They said that things may happen quickly but could also take days, after scanning they found that Angelika had no fluid left around her although her heart was still beating strongly - she was not moving much at all though - I was advised that should she get the infection then there would be distress caused to her, the last thing we wanted.
My white blood cell count was rising fast and I was becoming weaker.....induction was the only choice left.

They gave me 2 little pills to tell my body to start to let go of our little girl, by 5pm Monday eve they gave me one more tablet. After that me and DH walked to the chapel in the hospital where I lit a candle and said a prayer for out special angel. before I made back up to my room the contractions had started with such force I could barely walk. They took us straight to the delivery room where the lights were out and just candles lit , I decided on no pain relief as I wanted to feel everything, not to miss a thing.

At 18:53 on Monday the 5th of March Angelika was born into this world sleeping,she looked so peaceful and so very perfect, she weighed 225g and was 23cm in length, such long legs and the most beautiful little hands, we held her for so long and the Padre came and baptised her in my arms, I only had 25 mins with her as my placenta would'nt come away and I was losing so much blood, at that time I cared nothing for me and just wanted to die with her, in fact a massive part of me died with her at that time.
They then took her while I was rushed to theatre for a d&c ,blood transfusion and tests for infection. When I came, round later that night my DH said that they had taken pictures and foot and hand prints of Angelika and that he and her had spent some time with the Padre. The nurses came and gave me something to knock me out for the next 12 hours.

Now we are taking our Angel back to the UK for a full and proper funeral. The MOD are sorting out the repatriation and she will flying back in to Heathrow next Wednesday morning.
It all seems such a bad dream right now and although I know it has happened , I just don't want to believe it.

I have achieved something that I never though possible.............I gave birth.
Little consolation but gives me hope for the future, She will always be our first born , and if God willing any other children should follow they will always know of their big sister Angelika.
I could not have wished for better care from the hospital staff,HLO,Padre and the welfare officers , they have all been amazing. My husband and I owe a great deal of thanks to them all.

Angelika's funeral was held on the 20th March in Sussex in the UK, It was a peaceful and beautiful service.

Please visit Angelika's other memorial site http://angelika-taylor.memory-of.com