The race is long, not short and hasty. When Bonnie and I would initiate that statement, I would run only one mile, but as fast as I could. I hate to run long distance. Bonnie would run and run; it seemed like forever. She admitted she was a tortoise but she had endurance and steady was her run.
I knew I had someone special the day we walked up to the top of Carbon Canyon Hill. Sick, with a fever, she endured that climb to become my wife. We first met on a blind date set up by a friend who was working at Bank of America, at the time. Bonnie and I dated two years before getting married. We were married for 13 years and had two boys, Canon (11) and Emmitt (6). I can honestly say Bon could not have asked for more. I remember our house as a fixer upper. I would be in the front yard, with the sun already down, working until 10pm trying to get the yard completed. Bonnie would be right next to my side shoveling that dirt into the wheelbarrow. It was just who she was, never shying away from hard work. She would tell me stories on how she would be on the roof hammering shingles and doing other jobs that women normally wouldn't do. It is a tribute to her mother who instilled in her that work ethic and those values.
Bonnie loved to go camping, snorkeling, kayaking, working in our garden, taking pictures, walking with her best girl-our dog Lucy but her passion was fixing up and changing the house. I even bought her a smock, when Trading Places was the king of the fixer upper shows. Bonnie had a great sense of humor and being together as a family was really important.
In September of 2005, Bonnie was diagnosed with Stage 4, non-smoking, Lung Cancer. There are only five stages of Lung Cancer. Out of all the cancers, she had to get the worst one. She was given six months to live. The first round of chemo treatments failed. In fact, some of the cancer actually grew. During this time, Bon suggested as a family we should attend church. We both went to church during our younger years, but we had traveled different paths away from the Lord. It wasn't a part of our lives. I suggested Calvary Chapel because it was down the street. I remember how we cried the first couple of weeks about the cancer. Bonnie never smoked so how could she get Lung Cancer? And yet, it was the cancer that put us in the right place at the right time. We were supposed to be at this church and be witnesses to God.
Going through some writing I came upon something Bonnie wrote during a women's bible study, "I used to be in a pit acting pitiful but with God we don't quit in the pit". What a powerful statement to exemplify her spirit! Habakkuk 2:4 says, "Behold the proud his soul is not upright in Him but just shall live by His faith". Bonnie wrote, "Can God trust you to be the same? Do you change your faithfullness in the midst of pressure? This thing is about Satan trying to get you to quit. It takes more than a weekend (Sunday) to be faithful."
This tells you she wasn't about to give into cancer and let Satan steal her soul. If Satan wanted a fight, she was going to give him one. In other words, we can do nothing against the truth, only for it. Go with Warriors heart and a Warriors spirit! It can only work for the truth. Bonnie put on that Armor of God, picked up her sword, her shield and began to walk the truth of the Lord. The Lord found a Warrior of God. God knew he was just waiting for her to come back to his side. I'm not talking about being belligerentand in your face: Bonnie is a person who walks for the Lord in an upright manner by showing kindness, humility and a gentleness for others. Her actions were a testament to others.
This woman, in the prime of her life, was given an impossible task to overcome. A trial from God and instead of running away, Bonnie embraced this cancer and went to battle everyday, as a warrior shall. She never complained about the daunting task in front of her and continuously showed grace under fire. We all have our trials, our storms and it doesn't matter how we got to this point but what will be remembered is how YOU traveled through it. It is how people will remember YOU! If you look today, it shows how Bonnie traveled through the storm.
It is a true testament of how much she touched the lives of people: even people that she didn't know have been affected by her. All one has to do is look at this audience. You know, after talking to people, what an honor and privilage it was to have known Bonnie. People have told her story. People now know who she is even if they have never really known her. It is a story of braveness, courage, strength and honor. It is the story of a Warrior.
People ask me how I was able to be strong during all of this. My mother died of Bone Cancer in January 2009. People would say, " I don't think I could do what you are doing". I would say, "I don't have a choice, I have to"...but to finish that sentence it would be..."because my wife is walking the truth and she is my inspiration. I can't let her down. She would do the same for me, in a heartbeat."
Bonnie always told me she was grateful to have a family, children, a house, a trip to Hawaii for our ten year wedding anniversary and even a pool. In her wildest dreams, she never thought she would attain all of this. Bon even told me that when she went to soccer or baseball practice or anything else the kids had to do, she would listen to other women complain about going everywhere and being totally exhausted. Bonnie always enjoyed going to these events because she thought she would never be a mother so these things we might take for granted or expect, she appreciated more than others. She actually enjoyed playing with her boys in the front yard. Bonnie never really liked sports as a child. She played sports to be with her friends but if her boys liked something, she would do it for them.Even when Bonnie was sick, she would force herself to play catch with them. She loved her boys!
Because of her kinder spirit Bonnie would put on her belt of truth and chose a lifestyle of honesty and integrity. She would wear God's righteouness against condemnation and corruption. Others whispered, "Poor Bonnie, she must have been a smoker". No matter, she held her head up with dignity and grace. Her doctors were amazed on how well she took to experimental chemotherapy but what they were seeing was someone walking the truth for the Lord. God allowed others to see his greatness through her. She was the carrier delivering the message.
This journey had its valleys and peaks. Battle were won and lost on a daily basis. Many a night, I would hold her hand because she was scared and we would talk about those times when she did not want me to leave her side. Bonnie knew deep down inside that even though she would be going into another valley of the shadows, she would go again with a Warrior's heart and a Warrior's spirit. Everytime she got knocked down for the count, Bon would get back up, retool with her shield and armor and again go to battle for God. Being a witness to Him and letting others see her strength through her fight. Bonnie loved going to bible study with her church sisters and would discuss the teachings with me at night. The Holy Spirit has shown her the truth of truths of the word of God she needed to counter the assaults and the snares of the enemy.
I pray that Jesus would lift her against every lie, every assualt, bearing confidence that you are good in what you have in store for me. Nothing is coming today that can overcome because you are with me. During one of her last days, Bon was having a very difficult day. I put her in bed and she told me that she was DONE. At first, I was caught off guard but I understood what she had said. It was a profound statement. That night I read 2 Timothy 4:6 which states, "For I am ready, being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of departure is at hand. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have kept the faith. Finally there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge will give to me on that day, and not only to me but also all who have loved his appearing." Then I told Bonnie that I would take care of the boys and honor her request to have Jesus stay in their lives. Bonnie, you have finished the race, you have fought hard. It is time to let go and be with God." It was the hardest thing I ever had to say.
Bonnie could no longer put on her armor or raise her shield. Satan had won her physically but it was an empty victory because he could not capture her spirituality because she belongs to Jesus Christ, our savior. Even in the end Bonnie still had her sense of humor. Years ago I went to Colorado and brought back a Rockies jersey. She sat me down and explained, "I'm a girl. I like pretty things like dresses, not sports and team logos. One of the last thing Bonnie whispered to her best friend, Maureen, was "Don't let Derek put a sports team on my urn." That was just the way she was...
Let us remember what a thoughtful and unselfish person Bonnie was. Her goal was to live enough so that her boys could take care of themselves. That is what she needed to do to finish the race and make my life easier when she left this life. It will never be easy.The boys will miss their mom for all she did but most of all they will miss the Wednesdays when she would pick them up and get a treat, usually an ice cream, and sit just talking about their day. They will miss the life lessons she taught to them and the importance of God in their lives.
I am going to miss her humor, her smile, her big caring heart and her curlers in her hair. In other words, I will miss my rock. Bonnie was an incredible and beautiful person who will dearly be missed but not forgotten as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, and friend. She was a WARRIOR in the truest spirit. Thank you Peter V. for putting this woman in my life!!
