The Eulogy for Doris Callender as delivered by her four grand daughters Kelly, Michelle, Lisa & Sarah
Grandma was born on 18 February 1923 in Newcastle Upon Tyne, England to Percy and Flora Hetherington. Finishing school at 15 she was apprenticed to a seamstress. Her first love was to become a hairdresser but her mother and father could only afford the lower fee of seamstress. She worked as a seamstress until moving up the corporate ladder, accepting a position on the floor of the local department store. All was not well though, as she unfortunately found herself placed in the hat section, Granny hated hats.
Joining the land army in 1939, she served for two years before meeting John Charlton Callender, a strapping young corporal in the 49th Battalion Tank Regiment. When he returned form service in Germany and Belgium in 1941, she caved in to his inherent charm and they married on the 9th August 1941 in Newcastle. They had two daughters, Margaret born in 1948 and Kathleen born in 1951. 10 Years later they emigrated to Australia arriving on the 13th November 1961. Grandma and Grandad celebrated their 61st Wedding Anniversary in August 2002 before Grandad passed away peacefully in January 2003. They had 5 grandchildren and one great grandchild. (Grandma only recently found out first, that there is also another on the way).
Kelly
One of my most vivid memories of Grandma was watching for hours as she made wedding, Christening and Birthday cakes. She had put herself through Bexley Tafe in 1974 on a cake-decorating course with her good friend Betty Henderson. I remember sitting at the table, getting told off for bumping the table, and eating all the icing bits that didn't make the cake. She had a meticulous hand and a perfect eye for detail, everything had to be perfect or she would start again. She made all her decorations herself, including the flowers. She made these cakes for the love of it not for any monetary gain. I was lucky enough for her to be able to make my wedding cake in 2005, which was one of the last ones she made. One of her other great loves was tenpin bowling, in 1997, aged 74 Grandma entered the Masters Games in Canberra, becoming the oldest competitor in Tenpin Bowling winning Silver and Bronze in the individual and team events.
Sarah
Grandma, Mum, Doris, Mrs Callender, however you remember her she was a very special lady. I will remember Grandma's garden. Its beautiful flowers, the bright coloured bugs, birds and the cats that came into the garden because they just knew that she would take care of them. I will remember the long games of scrabble and the dictionary that was always on hand for those most unusual words that even a grandmother had never heard of. I will remember the hours of jigsaw puzzles that we would sit patiently and complete, fighting over that final piece. I will remember the cakes and the people who were made so happy by receiving them. But most of all I will remember Grandma's hands, whether it be farming, sewing, gardening, baking, decorating cakes or raising two children, Grandma was always there hands on, and it gives me great comfort to know that in her final hours she had her hands held by the two daughters she loved so much.
Michelle
Firstly, our family would like to thank all of Grandma's friends how have helped her over the past years and to those who have sent their best wishes over the past weeks. Also a very big thank you to Calvary hospital. To all the nurses and staff who cared for Granny, we will be forever thankful. Susie, Helen, Dianne and many others provided Granny with not only excellent care, but were wonderfully supportive of our families. You treated Grandma with dignity and respect and that meant so much to our family, so thank you to all of you. A little over 4 years ago, some of you were here with us celebrating the life of our Grandfather. As many of you know our Grandad went to Garrawarra hospital, which is where he later died. Some time before Grandad went to Garrawarra, Grandma was diagnosed with cancer. In our family, there is some remaining guilt that sending Grandad to Garrawarra contributed to his death, and that him going there was the wrong decision. After watching the battle that Grandma endured, it is clear to me that had Grandad not gone into care, then Grandma's health would have suffered. Grandma's sickness required her full attention and energy to fighting the cancer. On Friday night, after spending some of the day at Calvary, with Riley having joy rides on the hospitals equipment, I myself was battling world war 3 trying to get Riley to bed. Whilst sitting on the floor in his bedroom stroking his hair, I, like many in the family were praying for God to take Granny soon, to end her pain and suffering. I remember asking her to please go and join Grandad who would be waiting for her. That it was ok, we would all be all right. At 11.40 that night, Lee rang me to tell me that Grandma had died. Through all her stubbornness she had answered our prayers and made that final step forward.
Lisa
Growing up I would think to myself I don't have a stereotypical Grandma, you know one that sits on her rocking chair by the fire, knitting scarves and booties, a little red riding hood style Granny with a frail rigid voice. I mean Granny's are supposed to be short, cuddly with a stock of white hair. They are supposed to coo over you and pinch your cheeks and tell you you are the cutest thing next to sliced bread. Not my Grandma. My Grandma was tall, (that's by my family standards) and slender. She watched cricket, tennis and golf; she liked gardening and Thomas the Tank Engine. So was I unlucky not to have the chubby cheek pinching, chair rocking Granny, not on your life. My happiest memories with Grandma were sitting watching the tennis or the golf, bantering over who would win, who was the cutest player, who had the most money and who could be a good choice for her second youngest granddaughter to marry.
Now is the time Grandma, that I must say goodbye. But not before I have had the chance to express to your family and your friends gathered here the ten most important things I have learnt from you.
1. Never lose your sense of humour, for at times it will be the only thing you have in your favour
2. Ask questions now for one day you may not get a response
3. Accept life's challenges with a smile, for when they say you have to do your time in purgatory, you can safely say, “no thanks, I've done mineâ€
4. Make fun of yourself, people won't feel the need to do it for you
5. Tell your children and grandchildren stories from your past, even if they pretend not to hear you, I guarantee they are listening
6. You are never too old or too sick to learn new things, Just three weeks ago we helped you learn how to use a digital camera
7. Respect the Queen; she's the only one we've got
8. Respect the Royal family
9. Respect the English cricket team, for just when you least expect it they pull of a great win and
10. Life is indeed a box of chocolates; you never know what you are going to get.
Grandma passed away at 11.40pm on Friday night, just in time to watch England beat Australia in the cricket. She completed on long adventure and now joins Grandad for her next. Getting back to the England victory, she would have been so happy as she always barracked for anyone playing against Australia.
Departing this world, free of pain and re-joining Grandad, Granny is now in a place which she deserves, the eternal garden of heaven full of flowers, plants and more importantly the odd stray cat.
